Summertime

Things have been tough lately. I go through periods of time when I am so strong... never cry and just go on with life like nothing is wrong - enjoying the kids - living life. Then one day something will happen - nothing major - maybe just something small - and it knocks you right into reality. For instance, I may see a parent taking his or her two chidren up to Rita's to get some water ice. Both kids standing there so patiently waiting to order. And I think - we cant even take our kids up to the water ice stand b/c it is on a busy highway and one of them will try to run in the road or one of them will knock some other kid over or just generally cause a big scene. What people dont realize is it isn't always the big things that you cant do that really hurt but the little things that most people completely take for granite. And why wouldn't they...they dont know any different? I am just at the point now where I just think this all sucks! You can't help but think what the hell did we do to deserve this! Marriage is hard enough with out having to deal with caring for two special needs children and all teh strains that puts on your relationship as well as your relationships with other people as well. You do really find out who your true friends are though. I can say we are blessed to have the supportive friends and famiy we have. Well Ryan has been starting to talk less and less. He still says things from time to time - mostly repeating but I am afraid there isn't much cognition there. Brayden does so well with cognition - he understands way more than Ryan ever did. But, he really has never had much vocabulary. They are the sweetest most lovable boys - they love their family and they love their friends. They both love school which makes working easier knowing they are cared for and happy. As for good stuff, we are heading to the beach for a week which is always fun for the boys. WE are going to Disney in October for Ryan's Make A Wish trip. We are excited for that as well. Ta ta for now...